awake my soul

Man, this has been the most exciting/busy/wonderful/encouraging month of my life. Here’s the last month and a half in a nutshell.

Quit my job.
Packed everything I could in my Sunfire.
Drove to North Carolina.
Moved all of my stuff out of my car and into the Coleman house.
Started looking for jobs.
Went to the bakery. Just a few times.
Started house sitting for a month.
Packed everything back in my car and moved it to the Austin house.
Went to California for my cousin’s wedding. It was beautiful.
Came home and continued searching/interviewing for jobs.
Went to the Parkway with the siblings for a gorgeous sunset.
Ate barbecue. Several times.
Kiffer and Sarah got their house.
Started helping get the house ready to move into.
Got the job that I wanted.
Packed up my stuff yet again and moved it into my own room.
Went to a Parkway sunrise.
Went to the White Squirrel Festival. Yup, that’s a thing.
Moved some more.
Hung out with the most amazing family ever. They are wonderful.
Went hiking in DuPont.
Had a moustache party. Which may just have been the funniest night of my life.

As you can tell, I’m enjoying life just a little bit. I don’t remember the last time I had this much fun, looked forward to this much, and felt so blessed. Everyone here is just wonderful. I feel so at home already and I’ve only been here about a month. Mind you, I think I felt at home from the first time I entered Brevard last August. There is no doubt in my mind that I am where I’m supposed to be. Everything lined up like only God could plan. Any doubt I had moving here has been completely removed from my mind. I’m here, I’m home, and I’m enjoying every moment of it.

Of course, if you know me at all, you know I’m already looking towards what could be coming next. Is it school? Is it an internship? Is it a trip this fall? I’m pretty sure that when God put my brain together, he decided to leave out the off switch. My brain just never stops. When I have something that I’m working towards, or something I want to accomplish, it consumes my entire brain space. So many ideas have been bouncing around up there. Do I try and go to school this fall? Do I take some online classes? Do I start applying for fall/winter internships? Do I start planning a trip to Africa this fall?

What do you do when you want to do it all? I’ve decided this is my number one problem. I just don’t know how to choose which to knock down first. I would really like to start working towards my degree, so this means I’ll start looking at taking some online classes this fall or winter. Wait, maybe I should wait like I was planning and start school next fall when I get my residency. Maybe in the meantime I’ll see if I can get a local internship allowing me to still work towards my goal, but be doing something that I’ll love, but still be able to work and then go to school next fall. Actually, I’ve been wanting to do another trip for so long now. I’m not sure I’ll be happy if I just stay around here till next fall. Maybe I’ll just go on a trip for a couple of weeks to South Africa, or somewhere else, take a little time off of work, and just be doing something that I love. But wait, if I travel, that means a lot of my savings for school will be gone. Maybe I should just start doing some classes online this fall. HA! You just received an unwanted look into the brain of Elisabeth. Yup, I’m just as confused as you are reading that. I can’t even keep my thoughts organized anymore. They are just floating from one side to the other, stopping quickly enough for me to start worrying about my future. How kind of them.

Maybe just say a quick pray for me and my jumbled thoughts. What do you do when you just want to do everything? I’m so passionate about so many things, I don’t know what to start with. I don’t know where to step next. I don’t know what to focus on. I just don’t know at all. I wish someone just completely understood what it is that I am feeling. I wish this made sense to anyone, including myself. I feel like I’m stuck in a corn maze, all alone, and it’s getting dark. Yup, the panic is starting to set in and I’m about to head to the nearest corner and break down. I just want someone to come find me, tell me it is going to be okay, and lead me out.

This has lead me to a very strange place. I’m perfectly content in where I am and the move I just made, but at the same time I can’t stop looking towards my next step, my next journey. Right now it’s just one small step at a time, one activity at a time, one day at a time, and one thought at a time. (Or that’s what I’m trying to convince myself anyways.)

Well, now you probably know more about my life more than you ever wanted to. Terribly sorry. Just know that in the midst of this confusion and uncertainty, I am completely happy with where I am. I am surrounded by amazing people who have become much more like family than friends. North Carolina, you’ve treated this half-and-half well.

“Where you invest your love, you invest your life.”

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