out of my head

Well Nashville, you’ve stollen my heart…yet again.

I don’t know what it is about this city. It got ahold of me oh so many years ago and it’s refusing to let go.

I cannot believe that I only have less than three weeks of my internship left. I refuse to believe it. I can’t begin to describe how amazing this entire internship has been.

I’ve learned more throughout this internship than I ever could have hoped to. I’ve discovered more about myself and my passions far more than I ever dreamed. I’ve developed more solid friendships than I thought possible in such a short amount of time. My heart has healed even more than I even thought it needed to be.

I’m so trying to enjoy these last few weeks and not allow myself to get caught up in the anticipation of an abrupt ending to my time here. I keep reminding myself that I have so much to look forward to over the next few months, but I just can’t help but think about all the things I’ll be leaving behind…for now.

For now. That’s what I need to keep reminding myself.

I know that nothing will compare to what I’ll experience in Uganda. I know it’s going to be a more wonderful and stretching experience than I can even imagine at this point. That alone is terrifying in itself. I’ve come to realize that I’m doing a really horrible job at balancing preparing for a trip that I know is going to be harder than I can even start to understand, and being completely excited for the entire experience. I realized that I’ve been leaning much more to the side of preparing for a difficult trip. I’ve lost a lot of the excitement that I once had. Don’t get me wrong, I’m unbelievably excited for my upcoming trip, but at the same time the knowledge of having so many unexpected things in the near future is psyching me out. I need to work on balancing these things better. I think it’s been even harder knowing that soon something that I love so much is ending just as something even more challenging is starting up. I think at this point, I just have so many thoughts running around like maniacs in my brain, and I have no idea how to sort through them, let alone process them all.

In slightly other news, I recently decided to jump into the world of hammocks. Yes ladies and gents, Elisabeth bought an ENO. I’m not entirely sure why it took me so long to realize how amazing they are. How I lived for a year in the mountains of North Carolina without one is completely beyond me. (I promise these thoughts will connect with rest of this blog post. Just give me a moment.) Anyways, for the last week I’ve been spending every free moment hanging in a tree somewhere. Those moments have become my quite times. Even if there are other people around, I constantly find myself lost in thought, processing life. Is there a coincidence between the time that I purchase a ENO and the time that my brain is most unsettled? I think not. I’ve decided that I’m going to set aside time to just be still. Right now, that stillness comes with the rocking of a hammock.

Tomorrow we head out on our last run of multiple tour dates. I can’t wait to spend time on these campuses connecting with students. There’s nothing that I love more than being on the road. Pray that our dear bus stays put together and runs well all week. She’s such a sweet girl, but sometimes she gives us some trouble. Pray that our team has the strength to be push through all three dates and can finish with energy left at the end. I love this group of people that I have the honor of traveling with. I can’t wait for the conversations for years to come where we will be able to say “remember when…?” The anticipation of those days is what keeps me moving forward.

And off we go. Red Bus on three!

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