last goodbye

And break!

Well, another chapter has come to an end. Friday marked the end of my Red Bus Project internship, and Sunday brought unwanted goodbyes and a sad drive back to North Carolina.

I don’t even know how to sum up these last three months into a blog post. Actually, I don’t even know how to describe these last three months in words. Or at least words that make some kind sense or could even possibly form legible sentences.

So much happened
So much life was lived.
So many lessons were learned.
So many friendships were formed.

Let me just start out by saying that I like LOVE Nashville. I think I fall in love with that city every time I visit. Somehow I have Nashville in my blood. Sure, I was born there to two Canadian parents, but I am almost positive that they snuck a little Nashville in my veins. Visit after visit, I knew there was something special about that city, but it wasn’t until I ended up back there (more grown up than thirteen year old me was) this semester that I really saw myself in the city itself. I love the culture, the coffee, the people, the architecture, the boots, the atmosphere, and did I mention the people? I don’t understand the magnetic pull that Nashville has on my heart, but it’s doing something right.

When I first arrived at the beginning of February, I had no intentions of being there long term. I was strictly there for a three month internship and then I’d be off to Uganda and back to North Carolina. It wasn’t until a few friends started planting a bug in my ear that maybe I should think about coming back to Tennessee after my trip. I remember the moment when we were talking and it finally clicked…this might just be a possibility. I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t know what will happen through and after my trip to Uganda. Who knows where I’ll be when I get back.

I don’t know what plans God has for me in the next few months, but I do know that Nashville is on my list.

At the top of my list.

In all capital letters.

Underlined…twice.

You win Nashville. You’ve got me.

Will it be work? Will it be school? Will it be an internship? Will it be all three? I’d love to know the answer to that more than anyone. Time will tell. Plans will form. Connections will be made. God will provide. I cannot wait to see what comes of this.

As evidence by the rambling directly above, leaving Nashville last weekend was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I had a great last couple of weeks there trying to fit in as many “Nashville” things as possible. We did a pretty darn good job. But it wasn’t until I said my last goodbye, got in my car, and made my way to the interstate that I truly realized what was happening. I was closing a chapter in this crazy book of life. Sure, I’ll be back and those relationships will continue, but that part of my life was over. Never again will I be in the same spot. I am so grateful for the people and experiences He placed before me throughout this internship. I could not have imagined anything better. It had it’s ups and downs, but somehow my heart was healed in ways that I didn’t even know it needed healing. It repaired things in my life that I didn’t even know were broken. I left Franklin, TN last Sunday a different person than I arrived three and a half months ago. I have Red Bus to thank. I have my fellow interns to thank. I’m just so in awe of what God has done through this Red Bus Project journey.

Now I’m home in North Carolina. I’m back with some of my best friends in the world. I’m back in one of the most beautiful places that I’ve ever seen. I’m trying to process the last three months. I’m trying to think about packing for the next three months. I’m trying to be in a spot where I’m ready to experience and learn everything that will be thrown my way throughout this next chapter of my crazy story. I’m not going to lie, it’s been a hard adjustment coming back. It’s been a lot to process. It’s been a lot to wrap my mind around. It’s been a little overwhelming. Somehow God will show up. He’ll calm my nerves. He’ll take my hand and yet again ask me if I trust Him. At this point in my life, I don’t know why I still doubt that.

Like I said, there is no way that I can completely sum up my time in Nashville into words. To be honest, I’m not sure I did a great job of attempting to put words down here at all. All I know is that God is good. His hand is on all of this. I don’t understand the half of it, but I’m trying to reach out my hand and simply say, “Okay, I trust you.”

Even in laughter the heart may ache, and the end of joy may be grief. – Proverbs 14:13.

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