torn apart

While this upcoming move is filled with nothing but new experiences and unchartered waters, the season that I find myself in is all too familiar – I’ve been here before. Sure, it was a different city country, a different group of friends, and a different leap – but these feelings I’m experiencing aren’t foreign to me.

I was laying in bed – because let’s be honest, the only time I have a somewhat intelligent thought is when I’m trying fall asleep – and just couldn’t explain why, that in all of this uncertainty and change, I felt oddly comfortable. I’ve been here before.

I’ve done anything possible to avoid packing.

I’ve dreaded saying goodbye to my best friends.

I’ve tried to do all of the “this is my last time…” activities.

I’ve been excited for the next chapter, but dreaded the step between here and there.

There are so many things I will miss about this sweet town of Brevard. There are things that I’ve been waiting months to be back doing. In one way, my heart is torn. In another, I know I’m stepping into something much bigger than myself with nothing but excitement and absolute fear. So many things things I will miss, so many things to look forward to.

Things I’ll miss:

  • Sitting here listening to my friends cackle while playing Cards Against Humanity.
  • Seeing my best friends everyday.
  • Seeing the sunset over the Blue Ridge Mountains.
  • Being 45 minutes away from some of the most beautiful outlooks on the Parkway.
  • The bakery.
  • Scarves and wool socks.
  • Good breweries.
  • Spontaneous trips to Asheville for Indian food.
  • Road trips.
  • Sushi.
  • Changing seasons.
  • Concerts. I’m really going to miss those.
  • Nights spent around the dining room table with some of the people I love the most.

Things I’m looking forward to:

  • Holding my sweet Eli.
  • Running around with Silas.
  • Coca-Cola with cane sugar.
  • Causing trouble with the Collie kids.
  • Cappuccinos from Flavours.
  • Boda rides with epic soundtracks.
  • A tan.
  • ENOing on warm Sunday afternoons.
  • Red dirt.
  • Having Betty chase me around the house trying to get a “real smile” out of me.
  • Betty’s samosas.
  • The fish room.
  • Mango. Avocado. Pineapple.
  • Being back with my Ugandan family.

The end of a chapter. An opportunity for new beginnings.

Dale Partridge (founder of Sevenly) publishes “The Daily Positive” on his blog. Yesterday’s theme was “In The End, We Only Regret The Chances We Don’t Take”. He talks about finding your passion, the people who mean the most to you, a place that excites you and where those overlap you find yourself “living the dream”. Well, I think I’ve found it. I’m doing what I love with Sole Hope, the Collies are like my family, and Uganda holds nothing but excitement for the future. I think some would say I’m “living the dream”. I pray that I savour every moment, take in every experience, and find joy in the small things. I’m doing what some people can’t even imagine – I’m living my very own dream.

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2 thoughts on “torn apart

  1. Ahhh…make sure you drink plenty of iced mochas for me…and send me pictures of those crazy Collies…and all of our Ugandan family – Eric, Betty, Rachel, Joyce, Dickson, Paul…you know…all of them…but make sure you put your pretty face in there plenty too! Love you!

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