create in me

 

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at·ti·tude
/ˈatiˌt(y)o͞od/

noun
1. A settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically one that is reflected in a person’s behavior.

 

Whether you’re seven or seventy, your attitude affects your life. Negative or positive, your attitude depicts how you move minute to minute and day to day.

Lately, I’ve had a horrible attitude.

About work, about where I live, about what I miss, about school, about the weather – I was just mad about it all. And to be honest, I still am most days.

The problem is, attitude is defined as also being “reflected in a person’s behavior”. It was a bigger issue than me just being mad about my life, it went so far beyond that. I’m sure it was no secret to anyone that something was wrong – I was quick to anger, quick to judge, and resistant to grace. I had no grace for others, I had no grace for myself, and I had no interest in providing either. I’m quite sure that I was miserable to be around – I can’t imagine anyone wanting to be in my general vicinity. First off, I’m so sorry for all of the people I hurt – that was never my intention – and I’ll probably do it again, and I’m sorry in advance for that. Secondly, I have amazing friends for sticking with me while I was horrible – and I probably still am most days – so thank you.

I don’t really know how to fix it all. I don’t know how to be content in something that is so isolating some days. I really do love where I am – I know it’s exactly where I should be. I know I’m learning more here than I could anywhere else – and I’m starting to see that. I’m just in a spot where God is asking me to give him everything in my life – the good and the bad – but I honestly don’t even know how to start doing that. I’m at a loss for where to go from here – but one step at a time, I’m praying I start the journey. I know it won’t be easy, I know I’ll mess up more than I’ll ever admit, and I know I’ll probably have a bad attitude along the way. But I’m taking the first step – I’ve recognized the problem. I just don’t know what the next step is. I’m trying to make the conscious choice to have a better attitude about life – grace upon grace

“Keep your eyes on ME, not only for direction but also for empowerment. I never lead you to do something without equipping you for the task.” – Sarah Young, Jesus Calling

 

 

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