all that I am

Processed with VSCOcam with m3 preset

Oh, how my heart has changed over these past few months.

Just months ago, my heart was hurting. I felt so out of place, I felt alone, I felt discouraged. There was a lot going on here. There were spiritual attacks like I had never experienced before. I was adjusting to living in a completely foreign place on my own. I was trying to figure out where I fit, where I was useful and effective. I was navigating a language barrier that I still can’t seem to cross most days. I was finding contentment in ways that I never had to before.

And here I sit – having a better idea of where I fit and belong. I have a [small] community around me. I have met friends who have built me up in ways that I could never describe in words. I work for an organization that allows me to be who I am, crazy and all, good and bad. I’ve learned more in the last 6 months than I did in the 23 years prior to my move here. I won’t lie, there are still times I wish I could send a quick text at the end of the day, and in a few short minutes be sitting with my friends, sipping a [good] glass of wine. But as a whole, I am content. It’s somewhat of a foreign feeling – it’s been a long time since I felt that.

Contentment does not mean loving every moment of everyday, but it is knowing that in spite of those moments, you’re where you need to be – and you find joy in that.

So here’s to contentment, here’s to joy, here’s to living the little moments.

 

 

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “all that I am

  1. Wise, young woman. This is the ‘secret’ of life, isn’t it? I will chase this until death (and mess it up terribly all the time). Thank you for the reminder. I always feel like I am sitting with you when I read your words. Miss you, sister.

    • I don’t have it down – not even a little bit. There are just these moments when I feel it, and I try to grasp those with tight fists. Then they fade and back to wishing and reminiscing. I miss you, lady. Please come back, I need some good late night conversations and fights for internet access.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s