A blog I wrote back during my time in Uganda, After the Storm, was recently published on Deeply Rooted Magazine‘s online blog. I’m so honored for them to choose these words to share, in hopes they will resonate with someone the way they did with me.
These words were not easy to write. I was in the midst of one of the hardest seasons of my life, and this blog was my attempt at digging into the hope I knew was somewhere in front of my feet. It felt like I couldn’t escape the feelings I was trapped by, but alas, He is good – through it all.
Fear and anxiety. I can finally put words to it.
I spent years and years with feelings I couldn’t place, I couldn’t name. I couldn’t understand these emotions I was experiencing more often than I’d like to admit.
It wasn’t until I moved overseas and struggled on a more consistent basis that I was able to name what I was feeling. Living in a developing country brings out both rational and irrational fears in the best of people, not to mention someone who has an overactive imagination and desires safety more than most. (I was also introduced to the Enneagram and my #6 personality type.) Being there gave me permission, in some way, to validate what I was experiencing in not only a physical sense, but on an emotional and spiritual level as well. Suddenly, I was able to admit what I was feeling, to myself and those closest to me— the hardest and most humbling step of all.