need you more

Do you ever have those moments when you think back and wonder whether the last 3 months even happened?

Time seems to be passing more quickly than every before and months have gone by in the blink of an eye.

These last few months have been filled with transitions – work, home, church – but it’s been oh, so sweet. To think of where I was just three short months ago completely blows me away. How life can change before you even realize which way is up.

Work: I started working as an Outreach Coordinator for a small-ish, local non-profit that works to support individuals who support military service members and veterans. It’s been a learning curve working with a population I have little experience with, but it’s also opened my eyes to a new passion and interest. I even wrote my final paper of my undergrad on this topic. It’s definitely something I want to dig more into moving forward – both academically and professionally.

Home: I moved to a cute little apartment in a more central area of San Diego and I love it. As long as I’ve lived on my own, this is the first time I had my own space with roommates. Up to this point I’ve always lived with a family or couple, so it’s been fun making the space my own – although it has a LONG way to go. While I’m not home much, it’s nice to have a place to come back to everyday.

Church: Goodness, this has probably been the most unexpected piece – though I’m not sure why. Ever since moving to San Diego, I’ve been trying to find a church community to pour into and intentionally build community in. I started going to a church shortly after moving where I met some AMAZING friends and plugged into a small corner of the church community. I just never quite felt settled there – which looking back was probably  preparation for the change and transitions coming throughout the following months (or year, really). My attendance was scattered and I never fully invested myself there. After a series of moves all over the county and some time of reflection and prayer – I decided to go back to that church up north and DIVE IN. I’m an all or nothing kind of person, and I finally just decided I need to be all in. I’ve only been back about a month-and-a-half, but I’m so thankful to be there.

Y’all, that’s really just the tip of the iceberg. The Lord has been doing amazing things. He’s been revealing things to me that I’ve been oblivious to or avoiding for longer than I’d like to admit. I’m seeing Him do beautiful things in the lives of my friends, my family, and the church community I’m surrounded by. I’ve never been one to journal or consistently write, but I’ve felt prompted to write these moments down. I want to be able to look back and see EXACTLY what HE was doing all along.

There will be much more to come as I continue to move through this season of putting down roots. It’s something I’ve never really done before. But oh, how sweet it is.

I pray that HIS will is done. That HE will be in each and every moment. In each decision. That HIS glory is revealed. In HIS timing.

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no excuses

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I have finally done it.

I’ve somehow managed to read book after book for the last year or so. Normally, while I’m in school, reading for enjoyment is pushed to the very far back burner that barely even exists. I can never bring myself to focus on a book when all I do each day is read a bunch of information from a textbook that I can’t seem to care less about.

However, I’ve somehow been able to keep myself going with the momentum that comes from finishing one book and picking up another. It doesn’t help that Amazon just keeps sending me all these new books… They really need to get that looked at…

I’ve had a lot of people ask me what’s on my book list these days, so I thought I’d make a big ol’ master list so I can also keep track of what books I’ve read. If I’ve read the book, I’ll add it to my “already read” list with a little description and what I thought about it in general. Then on the “next up” list I’m going to keep adding what books Amazon will most likely send me next. (Amazon is an enabler – and I don’t hate it.) I’d also love any and all suggestions that you may have for my “next up” list. I’m always looking for books that other people have read and love. Let’s see if I can keep this momentum going – I may need a few more book shelves.

COMPLETED

  • The Wounded Healer by Henri Nouwen // This book got me hooked on Henri Nouwen’s writing. My dear friend Riley suggested it when I originally wanted to get back into reading regularly, and it did not disappoint. It speaks to one’s ability to minister to and be in community with those around them through mutual hurt and struggle. One must recognize the heart in their own heart before they can speak into the lives of others, but at the same time, it’s a common foundation which to build a relationship upon. Again, highly recommend this one – it’s full of beautiful truths and hard challenges.
  • Garden City by John Mark Comer // I heard so many good things about this book before I ever picked it up. It was definitely an interesting read that made me actively think and process throughout the whole thing. It poses interesting and uncommon perspectives surrounding work and rest. It’s definitely something I would recommend to anyone.
  • Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl // Guys, I literally read this book in 10 hours. I COULD NOT put it down. I sat on the porch ALL day and just flipped from page to page. Now, as I say that, let me also preface this with saying it’s a very heavy read. It’s not necessarily a hard read, but it’s full of some of the most difficult trials anyone could ever experience. I’d honestly like to read it again to pick out more nuggets that I missed the first time around. Let’s just say that half of the book is covered with yellow highlighter. It speaks so eloquently to the strength, perseverance, and meaning that can be achieved only through struggles and trials.
  • Unreasonable Hope by Chad Veech // I had high expectations when I started to read this book about Chad and his wife’s struggles with their girl, Georgia, who developed a disorder that has affected every aspect of her life and theirs. I love books that are based on life stories and the lessons that are learned through the trials. While it was a good book that displayed the strength and challenges endured by this family, it fell a little short for me. And to be completely honest, it’s probably because I read it right after Man’s Search For Meaning, which is why it seemed to fall a little flat.
  • If You Find This Letter by Hannah Brencher // I’ve been following Hannah’s organization, More Love Letters for years now; from before I ever really knew what it was or why it was stared. Hannah is someone who you can always count on to be honest, yet encouraging and motivating. Someone who lives and breathes for others, but preaches the need to take care of one’s self – even when that seems impossible. Her book walks through her experience in New York City, working for a large non-profit, and the hobby she built encouraging strangers through the writing of letters. She’s one of those people I dream of sitting down for coffee with, just talking and dreaming and speaking life to each other. Let me know if you’re ever in San Diego, Hannah ;) You’ll probably also want to check out her blog here.
  • The Inner Voice of Love by Henri Nouwen // I love everything Nouwen writes. That’s something I discovered early on this year. However, this may be my favorite that I’ve read so far. I don’t even think that I could explain it, so all I’m going to say is GO READ IT NOW.
  • If You Feel Too Much by Jamie Tworkowski // Where do I even start with this book. It is another one I read through in less than 24 hours. I could not put it down. I actually wrote a whole blog post about this book, so you can just head there for a full recap. I also suggest getting the new extended version, which I have yet to read.
  • The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cr0n // If you know me at all, I’ve probably mentioned the Enneagram to you. I might be even more obsessed with this personality indicator than the Myers-Briggs one – and that’s saying something. I was originally introduced to the Enneagram while I was living in Uganda a few years ago and it helped me understand so much about my life, personality, and natural tendencies. It’s as if the simple description not only smacked me across the face, but also allowed me to understand the inner workings of my thoughts and the reasons behind them. All that to say, this book is a great resource for those who are interested in the Enneagram. It describes the whole thing in detail, yet in a way that is understandable and applicable. It goes thorough each number (to all the sixes out there, you’re in good company) and describes some background on not only the thought processes and typical actions of each number group, but it also provides more info about where some of your concerns are and how you can spiritually strengthen certain areas of struggle in your life. Full disclosure: I’ve only read the intro and my number group. So I’m excited to dig in and learn more about each personality type.
  • This Momentary Marriage by John Piper // I assure you, this book is killer whether you’re married, engaged, or single. His main theme throughout the book is comparing earthly marriage to the relationship between Christ and his bride, the church. While the verse can get repetitive throughout the book, I think it’s needed. We so often lose what the biblical intention of marriage is – which is evident in our society today. This book described certain aspects of marriage and the relationship between a husband and wife in a way that I had never thought of before. I definitely recommend this to anyone and everyone.
  • Wreck My Life by Mo Isom // Guys, Mo killed it. Like, wow. That girl has a crazy testimony and I love hearing it again and again. While I knew aspects of her story before I read the book, it’s so beautifully written that it draws you in and captivates you from the start. She has journeyed from broken to bold and her book paints a beautiful picture of God’s redemption. There are few people who have made me laugh harder than Mo, and I loved seeing glimpses of that in her writing. Do yourself a favor and pick this up for every athlete you know. Oh, and everyone else, too. Also, you can check out her blog here.
  • When I Don’t Desire God by John Piper // John Piper, man, his books have a way of punching me in the gut while teaching me so much. This book speaks to the ways we can cultivate joy in our everyday life, even if it’s not what we automatically feel. It’s real good. You should also check out the podcasts of his sermons, while you’re at it.
  • The Knowledge of the Holy by A. W. Tozer // This book is packed with the characteristics of God, what he roots himself in, and how he acts towards us. It takes some effort to read, but I tend to think that’s a good thing. I would read one chapter at a time, soaking up as much as I could. It’s one that I’ll definitely revisit multiple times.
  • The Faith of Christopher Hitchens by Larry Alex Taunton // This one was one of the most fascinating books I read all year. It was a recommendation from Keary’s dad (and his book recommendations are always 200% reliable) and it hooked me in and held my attention throughout. It’s about the relationship between a Christian and a self-proclaimed atheist (and maybe one of the most popular atheist of our time) – describing many of the differences of opinion, but also a common longing to know and understand more about a Greater Being. It’s a fascinating read.
  • The Circle Maker/Draw the Circle by Mark Batterson // These books, they’ve been such a cool part of my story over the last few years and I’ve seen it be the same in other’s lives. The Circle Maker describes an old story about Honi, a man who boldly stepped out, declaring that he would not leave the circle he drew in the sand until God brought down rain in the middle of a drought. He fell to his knees and boldly approached the throne on behalf of his people, praying for the rain they desperately needed. As you can imagine, the rain came and the story became a legend. The book then goes on to describe other’s bold prayers and God’s amazing answers – even when they happen in His timing and not theirs. Draw the Circle is a 30-Day devotional that is based upon The Circle Maker book and is a guide for praying boldly and praying often. I’ve gone through it twice and wouldn’t be surprised if I end up going through it again. I would highly recommend both books.
  • The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne // Goodness, this book still has me thinking. It’s a lot to absorb, but it’s also very well written. It’s a longer book, but you’re able to understand the heart and mind behind the things that Claiborne has done over the years. I’m still processing everything I read and how I can apply it and react in my own life, actions, and behaviours. I definitely recommend reading this book at some point in your life. It will give you a perspective that is most likely completely different than your own.
  • The Grandeur and Misery of Man by David Roberts // This is another thinking book. While it’s beautifully written and easy to read, it’s stuffed full of thoughts and insights that are not often spoken about today. We tend to glaze over certain (read: many) things and this book addresses so many biblical things that speak to the nature and character of God and how that plays out in our lives. I think I highlighted half of the book. It’s definitely one I want to go back and read through again. It’s not an easy book to find, but if you can get one, snatch it up real quick.
  • Forgotten God by Francis Chan // While this book is an “easy” read, it definitely makes you think. I started this book MONTHS ago, and finally pulled it out to finish it recently. Oddly enough, the timing was perfect because we are doing a summer series at church about the Fruits of the Spirit. This tied perfectly into the backbone of how the Spirit produces fruit in us. This book had some great nuggets that made me think and was a good reminder for things I often forget.
  • Through the Eyes of a Lion by Levi Lusko // To be completely honest, this book was sitting in a pile for MONTHS. I had heard great things about it, but other books took priority in my mind and there it continued to sit. I decided to open in approximately 36 hours ago and finished it this morning. Let’s just say, it held my attention. If anyone knows me, you know my deep love for the book of 1 Peter. Call me weird and crazy, but I LOVE the description of suffering “with Christ”, but even more so, the redemption and testimony that comes with walking through fire. This book encapsulated that very concept through a very real, walking-through-the-trenches experience. I definitely suggest picking up this book – and be sure not to let it sit too long before you crack open the cover.

NOTE: I included a link to each of the books on Amazon. I always look for a used version there first, but sometimes the new copy is the best option. I tend to buy all my books because I mark them up and highlight like crazy – so that just works best for me.

IN PROCESS

  • Knowing God by J. I. Packer // This book comes highly recommended, so I’m looking forward to diving in. I’ve read the first two pages and I’m already intrigued. Stay tuned.

NEXT UP

  • Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke
  • All Things C. S. Lewis
  • Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson
  • The Pursuit of God by A. W. Tozer
  • If You Feel Too Much: The Extended Edition
  • Daring Greatly by Brene Brown

So, here’s my somewhat complete list from the last year. I’m sure there are some I’m missing and will add them as I remember. If you have any book recommendations, PLEASE send them my way. Pretty much every book on this list was suggested by someone – it’s my version of quality control. Text me, email me, leave a comment on this post, beep me, snail mail me, or, if you must, send it via telegram or carrier pigeon. I will accept all forms of communication.

I’ve also turned into a Rory Gilmore in terms of how many books I carry with me and how heavy my purse is at all times. But really, at the end of the day, I just call it an arm workout. Win-win.

My goal is to keep up this habit of picking up book after book. It really helps if you pair the book with a hot cup of coffee and a roaring fire or an iced coffee and a front porch, depending on the thermostat reading. I hear there’s a 96% success rate that way. Trust me.

“Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.” – Lemony Snicket

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keep on keeping on

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The big stuff. I tend to blog the big stuff.

I blog the hard times, the transitions, the times I feel the most joy. I blog the pictures, the song lyrics, the inspirational quotes. I blog the smiles, the tears, and the heartbreak. But I’m not very good at blogging life.

The peaks and pits are what often stop us in our tracks, but the days in between define us. It’s not always the big hills and valleys that determine who we are, but the everyday steps that move us towards Him. It’s responding, not reacting. It’s choosing joy, not wandering lost in the heartbreak. It’s taking small steps forward when you want to turn around and run. It’s the little things, the moments that seem insignificant, the day-to-day mundane that forces us to look towards the One who determines our steps.

I want to get better at documenting the typical, the mundane, the insignificant moments. I want to value the daily life that He allows us to live each and everyday.

Now, I also want to watch less Grey’s Anatomy and do my laundry more often, so small steps will be key. One episode less, one load to get me started, and a few words here and there to remember these days. Seasons end so quickly (both in the land of Seattle Grace and the land of real life and red dirt), they move on to the next with just a hint of change and a gust of wind. I want to savour these moments, and I want to remember them.

So, here’s to the everyday, the joy, the sorrow, the small baby steps. Here’s to the boring, the mundane, the daily routine. Here’s to not being afraid of what others think, or say, or how they react. Here’s to sharing the little moments and the big moments alike – moving forward on the path He chose us to walk. Here’s to tripping and falling and making a mess. Here’s to coming together – mess and all, to choosing each and everyday to live everyday for Him.

all that i am

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Kindred spirits. Heart friends. Fellow journeyers.

They are the people you do life with – the people you can’t imagine doing life without.

Hundreds, if not thousands, of miles can separate you, but they’re still you’re people. They’re the ones you cry to, laugh with, and complain to. They’re the people you drink coffee with – no words or full sentences required.

They’ve seen you at your worst – they’ve celebrated your greatest achievements.

I have these people to thank for keeping me sane, keeping me focused, keeping my life fun. I won’t sugarcoat it, each of these relationship has had rough patches. There have been times when I’ve been ready to walk away from them completely, but found the strength and drive to fight for them with everything in me. These are the people worth fighting for.

Just being around these people makes your soul feel at rest. No fuss needed. Sometimes all you need are some m&ms and an xBox controller in your hand. It could be an oven full of frozen pizza and an argument about which Netflix movie should be the feature that night. It can be as simple as staying at home and just being. It can be as adventurous as serving alongside them thousands of miles away from home. At home or across the world, these are your people – they are the ground you stand on and the push that propels you forward.

You don’t appreciate these people enough. You go through life, day-by-day, knowing out of habit that they’ll be there. It’s not until you’re removed from it that you truly appreciate and acknowledge these friendships, these people who make your life what it is. I’m thankful that they’re still my people – just a few more miles away. I still cry to them, laugh with them, and complain to them – it just takes a little more co-ordination and the help of a few Apple products.

I’m thankful for my people. I’m thankful that they know me to the core. I’m thankful that they believe in me more than I could ever imagine believing in myself. I’m thankful that we can be ourselves – laughing about things most wouldn’t even understand.

Different paths. Different continents. Common journey.

Here’s to many more tears, laughs, and cups of coffee.